The art of not giving a damn | Working actively in Indy Media for over a decade, has taught me some pretty hard won lessons, through experience, challenge and triumph. One of the most relevant lessons I have had to learn the hard way is: It is hardly possible to make an impact with one’s work, without acquiring a few detractors and / or haters along the way. Of course, this is to be expected, and by this stage of my journey, I have truly mastered the art of not caring terribly much about the nasty or negative stuff random haters have to spew across online media. Each and every time some random toxic pops up and unleashes vomit upon the world, I can hardly be bothered to have to clean it up with replies and / or rebuttals.
Every morning, my husband and I get up early to do our daily cleaning chores. We shower, dress and then we convene for a cup of Rooibos tea, where we take a look at all that is going on in our online social media circles before we start our work day. We check You Tube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and specifically log onto a few of our favourite blogs, including Karen Irving’s Hoaxstead Research website.
One of the numerous projects that we have been actively involved in now for 6 years, in the running of Conscious Consumer Network, a live broadcast production network that has aired over 4000 broadcasts and had broadcasters from all over the world, and in multiple languages. We have had the great pleasure of having front row seats to some of the most cutting edge and valuable information, literally bequeathed to us, and we always respect those who have gifted us with this knowledge, as we learn, grow and communicate the wisdom of better ways, and share the hope of better days.
The aim of Conscious Consumer Network, was to provide a professionally run, uncensored, independent media platform for free and independent media to share their work via the modality of live video broadcasts. The content was varied, but tied together with the agreed principle that all work aired on CCN, had to be aimed at the creation of a free, fair, just, peaceful, sustainable, non-toxic world, with abundance for all. Once a broadcaster agreed to that fundamental imperative via the modality of a Consentual Operating Format, their airtime was theirs. This network was a wonderful experiment, and indeed, we learned much about the world of media, and indeed, the type of people it attracted. From the perspective of us as the Producers, we got to sit in silence and watch with attention, thousands of people come across our screens, all with some vision of them self, or of their philosophy, their invention, their product, their guru-dom, their ego platform.
The plain and simple truth is that yes, we met some lovely people and had the blessing of launching some lovely projects and concepts, but there were a far greater percentage of people who are just complete narcissists, and somehow believe that they are entitled to some deluded sense of grandeur, and everyone else must feed their self imagined grandeur. Some individuals were just so utterly toxic, that they often end up in fights with other people in the movement, and spent much time online posting hate articles, comments, broadcasts and videos. If we had upfront grasped any idea as to just how toxic some of these people were when we first started to work with them, we probably would have refused the collaboration outright. But as they say, nothing beats experience, and I indeed have had the dubious pleasure of working with some of the biggest names, egos, narcissists, charlatans, and outright fraudsters. Sadly I have also at one time promoted these dubious characters, and then had to find out the hard way that I had made a mistake. But I am always one to step up and admit when a cause or story I have promoted and supported, has been done mistakenly. And indeed, I have learned some hard won lessons from that too, as I have had to put out many exposes on said people, having had first hand experience and having first hand evidence with which to expose them. Sadly, such noble intent and action may win you loyalty with people who respect the integrity of such an action, but it also makes one enemies in various camps, not least of which being, the person / party that is exposed.
At this juncture, I beckon the question: Is it possible in these times to find love in your heart, or is it a case of, once a hater, always a hater? I do always hold out hope that some of these people who are self proclaimed influencers, actually do find some love in their heart, other than just for themselves. Perhaps then they may be able to operate ethically and stop projecting their malfeasance unduly onto other people… but wait, that would mean actually having to admit just how soul sick they are… and therein lays the rub.
I am no stranger to adversity. In fact, I have had to deal with some rather challenging situations and people in my life. Some of these experience are too arduous to ever recount, but I will say that through each challenge I have grown stronger, and so I guess I should be grateful to those people who bring darkness and cause loss / harm on any level, because I have grown strong through it all, in fact, strong that I have learned the wisdom of knowing which battles to pick and what to ignore. These days I largely opt for ignore. I have also realised that what we fight, we give energy to. I do not want to give my energy to people that just do not deserve it, especially if I gave them my energy, attention and network for their outpourings via live broadcast. I have most blissfully reach the point of not giving a damn what anybody else thinks of me, or what nasty thing this or that one has to say. There will always be someone trying to tear me down out of jealous, for being smarter, for being more talented, for being happier, for being a public figure, for being different, for being me. I have gotten used to it, for indeed, who are we without our trolls. Does one even exist nowadays without a dedicate band of haters, which in the eyes of many, gives one credibility? I have yet to find one legitimate, well meaning public figure that does not attract their fair share of adversity and criticism.
So I guess doing what I do, having my fair share of detractors is a rather normal state of affairs, and I have come to accept that. I lose no sleep over it what so ever. My concern however is rattled when said toxic individuals, are unable to let go of what ever it is that vexes them, and move on. There are still the crazies out there who try to draw attention to themselves by posting videos with lamentations about my husband and I, and what we have apparently done to this one or that one. I mean, I have seen so many claims by people claiming to have dirt on me, and nothing has ever been published, because there really is nothing, apart from what I have already publicly disclosed. I have always been more than honest about my life experiences, for better or worse. I have nothing to hide, so if anybody out there wants to do a big disclosure, by all means, go ahead. I would love to see what you are wasting your time on now
To the haters out there. Thank you for your time dedicated to making me the subject of your focus, albeit in hate, but focus nonetheless. I am honoured with your attention, but I do hope for your sake, that you find more constructive ways of spending your time, for indeed, I am hardly worthy of the energy you pour into hating on me. I am sure you can find far more beneficial routes for expending your creative capacity, such as tending to your mental wellbeing.
One more thing… I really do send you all my love and good intentions. I have no intention of meeting hatred with hatred, no matter what smut you may vomit in your cries for attention. I hope you find your inner peace one day, and that you may one day be able to move past the trivialities that vex you, because I can assure you, I do not give a damn. I have never been one to be defined by the opinions of others. I know who I am. I know I have love in my heart, and I try always to be kind, and for me that is enough. I simply do not need the approval of anybody else, to know who I am and what I am about. I continue as I have, to live in a place of love, and not to allow the darkness of anybody, destroy my inner peace.
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